I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
