It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
