I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
