i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
