I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
