We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize