Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
