I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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