Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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