absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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