Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
