I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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