Your tits are I can't wait for
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
