That's intense
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
