It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
