Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
