You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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