could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
