i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I have tasted many bathrooms
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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