We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
