to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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