He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
