I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
