Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
