I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize