is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
