Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
