The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
