HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
