My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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