His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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