I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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