Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
