I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
