Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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