My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Randomize
