its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
