coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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