return my video game
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
