she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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