Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I believe in your delicious
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
