i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
