she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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