Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
