So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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