is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
