like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
