im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She's not a foreskin expert like you
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
did you just send me my own nude
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