people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
