I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
