they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
