He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
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