you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
