i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
