at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She's the barista slut.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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