just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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