I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
