nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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