Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
handjob tips. give me some.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
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