I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
