I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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