Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
