whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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