Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
