I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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