you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
