you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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